So the question that seems to be on everyone’s mind lately (that I talk to) is how we’re doing. And the long and short of it, is that we’re actually doing pretty good! But I won’t lie … that day back in Seoul, when we brought Callahan back to the hotel was rough. Super rough.
When we left Holt, Callahan was perfectly fine. Happy even. Me? Well, I was a crying mess. I love our Foster Mom. I love that she so passionately loves the babies in her care. I can see where some might perceive her ‘passion’ as ‘possessive’, but there’s nothing she wouldn’t do or give me if she thought I needed/wanted it for Callahan. She sent us to the hotel with 5 HUGE bags. I’m talking HUGE. EVERYTHING we could have possibly needed was in there. I seriously could have brought ZERO items for Callahan and we would have been just fine. Inside some of the large bags, she had vacuumed sealed bags filled with clothes. And not just for him, but for Claire & Charlie too. Her thoughtfulness was overwhelming. OH! And her daughter (Callahan’s Foster Sister) works at Paris Baguette, so she made us a Tiramisu Cake and brought us two boxes of these mini cake thingys. AWESOME.
As we got into the taxi, Callahan’s Foster Mom and Sister were crying. I was holding Callahan, but still tried to give our Foster Mom a big hug. I thanked her over and over and told her that I loved her. Bob got in first, and then I climbed in after him while Callahan sat on my lap and just looked out the window. His Foster Mom and Sister started saying good-bye to him and Callahan started bowing (they had taught him how to do that). That’s when it just became too much for me, and I couldn’t look anymore. So as we drove away, I didn’t look back.
The taxi ride went by rather quick. I was able to pull myself together and surprisingly, Callahan was happy and completely entertained looking out the window. When we arrived back at the hotel, we ran into our friends, the Woods (who had just picked up their son the day before) so it was fun to have a moment to show off our new little guy. Then we gathered our bags and headed up to our room.
Callahan was very curious and just walked around checking everything out. His favorite was to go to the window and look down below. So I pulled out the bubbles I had brought and started blowing them, but he wasn’t that interested. So we pulled out some other books and toys, and then I remembered the Pororo phone we had bought the day before when went to Lotte Mart. He LOVED it. He would take the phone and play the songs, and then hold it up to his ear and say, ‘Omma, Omma’ and laugh really hard. After about 15 minutes of playing and laughing, he held the phone up to his ear and said again, ‘Omma, Omma’ – and then he froze. It was as if all of the sudden it just clicked – his Omma was not there. And he freaked.
That’s when the screaming started. He was frantic. Hysterical. He kept pointing to the door, wanting to leave and he was crying so hard. He came to me and I held him. He laid his head to my chest and then leaned back to look up at me. And when he saw my face, he literally did a double take and screamed. He then ran to Bob and has clung to him ever since. Our Foster Mom commented on how she thought we looked like we could be related (and I can actually see what she’s saying) and she thought it would help Callahan’s transition, but I think in this case, it actually made it worse (the interesting thing, is when we were at Holt, Callahan would interact with me more than Bob. In fact, he hardly interacted with Bob at all).
So fast forward to now. Callahan is still super attached to Bob. In fact, I would say that he has a touch of ‘anxious attachment’ as he’ll freak a little if he can’t see Bob. He will come to me, play with me, let him feed him food, but bottles still need to come from Bob, and Bob is the one who is co-sleeping with him right now. It actually works out for us though, as I can be free to tend to Claire and Charlie. So for now, we’re kind of already into a decent routine (but talk to me again in 3 weeks when Bob goes back to work … I may be singing a different tune).
My parents came down today for a short visit, so we headed over to the park. This was our first real ‘outing’ since being home, and Callahan did GREAT in his carseat!
he LOVED the sprinklers!
until one got him in the eye
Claire & Charlie decided to go down the slide together
and Callahan got in on the fun as well
So I guess I should say that things are going as well as can be expected. The kiddos are still adjusting to each other, and as Parents, we’re trying to figure out how to balance the attention and needs of all three of them. It’s funny, Bob and I will compare the ‘transitions’ of Callahan and Charlie as they are SO vastly different from each other. In some areas, Charlie did ‘better’ and in others Callahan does. I guess it just goes to show how each child is so different, and I don’t know if there’s any one way to do things, or how to fully prepare oneself for what’s about to happen.
But I am so thankful for our little family of 5. It’s hard to believe that we’re here together. We’re not just looking at a picture anymore, but we have our son, in our arms and living life together. I’ll be honest. It’s pretty awesome.